July 31, 2013

little laura discovers violence sells

Blogger's Note: Thanks to my family's pack-rat tendencies -- and my vanity -- I've managed to keep documentation of my progress as a writer from kindergarten on. Instead of letting those cedar chest gems go to waste, I figured I might as well do what I do best -- post them to my blog. This is Little Laura Learns the Ropes.

No. 3: Write about a story you liked.
Date: Winter 1993
Age: 6
My favorite story in My Friends the Frogs was The Gingerbread Man. I like the Part when The Gingerbread Man got eat in.

Aww, Little Laura's first book review.* How sweet...

Speaking of sweet -- At age 6, my favorite part of a story was a sweet, albeit conniving, little man made of processed flours, sugars and whatever else goes in gingerbread, was about to be devoured by a fox. I think it was a fox. Actually, it was probably a wolf.

I don't know what it was, point is in this story the animal ate the gingerbread man after the baked good taunted him into giving him a free ride across a lake. The gingerbread man thought he was so smart by tricking this creature, and he teased him mercilessly. Heck, the gingerbread man hoped the fox-wolf would drown. But fox-wolf didn't drown. When faced with almost certain death, or a snack, he chose the snack.

Is it any wonder I've been completely obsessed with books/shows like The Hunger Games and Game of Thrones?

Oooh, Game of Thrones. The Starks. I've decided the animal in this story is a wolf. (Winter is coming!)

In any case, Little Laura has made excellent strides in improving her grammar and spelling. Sure she capitalized "part," but she'd just finished having a whole mess of capital letters in the title. And she probably could've selected a phrase better than "got eat in," because that's totally passive voice. This is a book review, not a police report, Little Laura. But I suppose this was probably a subject too complex for this chica to grasp. Heck, ditch the passive voice and the word choice is still shoddy.

I can look past these momentary lapses, because for the first time in my writing portfolio, I'm showing some signs of actually being interesting. I mean, Little Laura is kind of a badass, right? I could've picked stories more fairy-tale like (and there were ones that fit the bill in this large book of tales we kids were forced to read). But instead, I identified with and appreciated a story about someone trying to abuse the system and getting his just deserts. (The dessert!)

Which leads me to another point...

At age 6, I believed my reason for enjoying a story like The Gingerbread Man was related to action, adventure and, yes, violence. Years later, I realized it comes from an unhealthy addiction to carbs and sweets.

Dear, sweet Little Laura. If you only knew what this obsession with treats would do to you down the road...

But Little Laura would've never suspected something so sinister as calories or glucose levels at such a young age. No, back then, Little Laura was so optimistic, that even when she drew an illustration of a gingerbread man about to be "eat in" by a wolf, she added a little bit of sunshine poking through the dark clouds.

Wow. Little Laura is deep. I can't decide if I admire or envy her.

* For best results, read this using Carrie's "Awww" from Portlandia.

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1 comment:

  1. Hilarious, as usual. A six-year-old's book review is always entertaining. It's interesting what sticks out for the young'uns. I think Little Laura had a very strong sense of justice. She knew that tricksters like the Gingerbread Man would get theirs in the end. Awwww!