I'm having a tough time making up my mind lately.
Whether it's trying to decide where the kittens and I move this fall (Are we willing to sacrifice space for an in-unit washer and dryer? Am I willing to have a 20-minute drive to work if it means having it all? But what if it's all lies?) or trying to figure out what my character will do next (Should she have a blowout fight with her boyfriend right now? Just how douchey should I make him in this scene? Maybe she should take the dog for a walk instead.), I'm struggling. Every decision I make seems huge with countless possible results for the bad or good.
It's overwhelming. And, consequently, I'm doing more procrastination than ever.
But because I can't put off every decision forever (or can I?), right now I'm trying to manage what I can. I'm making my decisions in the order of importance. What has to be decided first? Which one can I take more time to mull over? What decision isn't even worth freaking out about?
I'm also finding ways to make myself relax before I have a full-fledged panic attack every time someone asks me a question. Take deep breaths, Laura. Turn off the laptop for a while. Pick up a book and read for fun, not because you have to. Sit around with a cup of tea and do nothing for a while. I might not be making any decisions during those breaks, but when I'm done taking the me-time, I can approach everything with a clearer head.
Maybe I should take up yoga, or something like that, bur right now that seems like another big decision to make.
In the meantime, while I'm struggling with what to do next, I'm taking a couple of days to look at what I wrote on the novel I started last month. It comprises the first quarter of the book, and it's kind of nice to pause and examine what I've done before proceeding. I've had to do a lot of editing with my first two novels' manuscripts, and maybe this will prevent me from having to do so much work later on.
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