August 6, 2013

decisions, decisions

I'm having a tough time making up my mind lately.

Whether it's trying to decide where the kittens and I move this fall (Are we willing to sacrifice space for an in-unit washer and dryer? Am I willing to have a 20-minute drive to work if it means having it all? But what if it's all lies?) or trying to figure out what my character will do next (Should she have a blowout fight with her boyfriend right now? Just how douchey should I make him in this scene? Maybe she should take the dog for a walk instead.), I'm struggling. Every decision I make seems huge with countless possible results for the bad or good.

It's overwhelming. And, consequently, I'm doing more procrastination than ever.

But because I can't put off every decision forever (or can I?), right now I'm trying to manage what I can. I'm making my decisions in the order of importance. What has to be decided first? Which one can I take more time to mull over? What decision isn't even worth freaking out about?

I'm also finding ways to make myself relax before I have a full-fledged panic attack every time someone asks me a question. Take deep breaths, Laura. Turn off the laptop for a while. Pick up a book and read for fun, not because you have to. Sit around with a cup of tea and do nothing for a while. I might not be making any decisions during those breaks, but when I'm done taking the me-time, I can approach everything with a clearer head.

Maybe I should take up yoga, or something like that, bur right now that seems like another big decision to make.

In the meantime, while I'm struggling with what to do next, I'm taking a couple of days to look at what I wrote on the novel I started last month. It comprises the first quarter of the book, and it's kind of nice to pause and examine what I've done before proceeding. I've had to do a lot of editing with my first two novels' manuscripts, and maybe this will prevent me from having to do so much work later on.

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  1. I get like this sometimes, too! Especially this time of year, with the kids going back to school. It seems like I'm constantly being made to decide things, choose things, be a grownup. I hate it. Like you, I get to the point that I just sort of shut down and refuse to make any decisions at all, which only increases the stress level. Then I inevitably come to the place where I have to make a ton of split-second decisions, and I do so with all the logic of a chimpanzee on speed. Makes for some interesting consequences. I hope things smooth out for you soon.

  2. I get the same way as well when I'm overwhelmed by decisions or an excessive to-do list. (Like now when I really need to be cranking on getting everything ready for my book launch in Sept.) I should be good like you, and read for fun. I usually end up watching reruns of Real Housewives. So pathetic! Good luck with your moving decisions. Moving is always stressful!

  3. Thanks, ladies. I'm glad to know it's not just me. :)