No. 6: Write a letter to our pen pal at Cook's Food using a friendly letter format
Date: Oct. 17, 1994
Dear Mr. (CENSORED),
My full name is Laura Marie Chapman. I'm 8 years old. 6 people live in my house. Me, Sarah is my sister. Mike is my 15 year old brother. Shawn my 14 year old brother. Linda is my mother. Bruce is my father. My mom is 43 my dad is 42. I play Volly ball in my spare time I also read a lot. At home sometimes it gets me into a lot of trouble. My father works at LT&T. My mother works at the Lincoln Childrens Museum.
In school we have 24 people. 26 counting Mrs. (CENSORED) and Mrs. (CENSORED). In math we are trading. In reading we are doing Imagine That. We are studying Walt Disney. There are 5 Disney places. Euro Disney, Tokyo Disney, Disney Land, EPCOT and Disney World. Euro Disney is in Parris, France. Tokyo Disney is in Tokyo. I like school a lot.
Where did you grow up?
Where did you go to school?
Where do you live?
Your pen pal,
Oh, dear, Little Laura. Someone should really clue you in on a little something the big kids call "Stranger Danger." For serious, LL, (and the teacher who thought this was a totally acceptable amount of information to send to a complete stranger) you can't just go around telling people you've never met your full name, age, family member's names, their ages and where your parents work.
The fact that you lived to see 9 shocks me, frankly.
I suppose we can be thankful the man who received this was apparently a gentleman not interested in:
a) abducting small childrenMaybe I'm overreacting to this. Maybe it's a sign of the times, but for serious, Little Laura, why did you have to choose now to get honest?
b) into identity theft
c) a murderer looking for his next set of victims
Especially when you follow up the answer to every security question with a big fat lie. What lie, you ask? Well, Little Laura, let's take a look at this:
"I also read a lot. At home sometimes it gets me into a lot of trouble."When, oh when, did you ever get in trouble for reading at home? Mom and Dad loved that you read. Sure, sometimes they told you it was time to turn off the light and go to bed (and you need your rest, LL), but how does that actually qualify as trouble?
Speaking of trouble... what will your parents think when they see you've revealed their actual ages? Everyone knows old people are sensitive about their age.
As in last week, it appears you're still using lists to generate big word count. By the way, thanks for letting us know that Tokyo Disney is in fact located in Tokyo as opposed to being a clever name. I'm sure this nice man, who was being forced to be your pen pal because of some company initiative to support the schools, really needed that fact clarified. I'm sure he's sleeping better at night now that he knows.
One thing I can appreciate is your consistency in this letter. You start it out creepy by sharing everything but your social security number with this man, and you end it by asking him where he lives. Given that he's a local man, I'm guessing he lived somewhere in town. That's all you need to know, you little creep.
I'm not even going to address the couple of misspellings and grammar issues. I'm too freaked out by you, Little Laura.
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