September 13, 2013

cinderella's prince charming: the tight end


Woe is me.

I believed in the power of Peyton Manning to carry Cinderella's Ball to a week-one victory in the Fantasy Football keeper league I joined this season. Why wouldn't I? The pig-skin tossing hunk of man scored more than 60 points last Thursday, which left me sitting pretty going into Sunday. I had every expectation my prince would help me break the spell and turn me into a princess before midnight.

And I came close. Super close. Final game of the week close. Then those jerks in Houston had to sneak in a last-minute victory. The defense just had to go and steal a couple of extra possessions, which gave my opponent a five-point lead.

So I ended my first week in a new league a loser despite scoring 159.7 points. I felt like Cinderella after her step-sisters trashed her mouse- and bird-made gown moments before the ball. I repeat: Woe is me.

But then there was, Cinderella's Fellas -- my second team from the league I joined last year. Somehow, we scored 145.38, which left my opponent in the dust by more than 30 points. I didn't even need a Fairy Godmother for this royal treatment.

While a few of my fellas underperformed (I'm looking at you Calvin Johnson and Steven Ridley. Is that how you treat a lady?), a few of my gentlemen-in-waiting knew just what to do to sweep me off my feet and into a week-one victory. With the likes of Adrian Peterson, Jordy Nelson and DeSean Jackson vying for my favor by making big plays and scoring touchdowns, I certainly had my choice of suitors.

But this is a Fantasy Football Fairytale, not a Fantasy Football Fantasy. There can be only one Prince Charming. And this week, the man who ultimately charmed my affections was Jared Cook.


I'm smiling, too, Jar. (I hope you don't mind me calling you that. I just feel so... close to you after what we've been through.)

Prince Jared came into the week as a new tight end for the Saint Louis Rams. Yahoo Sports projected he'd score 6.38 points. I didn't have high expectations and fully expected my running back/wide receiver dream team to lead the the competition into my heart.

Was I ever wrong! Catching seven passes for 141 yards and scoring two touchdowns in the Rams' season opener, Prince Jared presented me with a glass slipper in the form of 24.10 points. Those are running back-quality points.

I hope my prince can forgive me for believing the experts. I had no idea he'd perform so well. I'm ashamed I underestimated him like his former team, the Tennessee Titans. But that's changed. From now on, the only tight end I plan to admire is Jared Cook. I'm utterly smitten.

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