January 16, 2015

books i want to read, like, right now

My second novel is due for release next month and my third is in editing. That means I'm in one of those rare, lovely moments when I can binge-watch Netflix, or tackle the ever-growing list of unread books on my virtual and physical bookshelves without guilt.

Though I've read and enjoyed several stories already this year (my Goodreads Challenge list looks so happy) I have found myself craving a few books that aren't on my shelf. Maybe they haven't even been written yet, but I'd still like to see them. In the past, I've seen other authors, readers, and industry experts do a "call for books," telling writers what they'd like to see. So... I figured I might as well give it a shot in case someone wants to make my reading dreams come true.

Here it goes, five books I want to read, like, right now.

1. The Boatmaking Poet. This is less of a story concept and more of a character sketch for the main love interest. He's a boatmaker. He works with his hands making beautiful, custom canoes and whatnot somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. (Maybe on one of those rocky, rainforest-like islands.) He has an Irish setter (probably named Betty), a small cottage on the shore, and a bookshelf full of old leather-bound books. He seems a bit gruff, but that's only to mask the shy poet's soul within. Someone, please write this character, and if possible, write me in as his leading lady. It shouldn't be too hard. Here's all you need to know: Bombshell Nebraska writer with cats seeks adventure and romance on her future husband's handmaid boat.

We'd live somewhere like here
(taken in Summer 2012 in Port Angeles, Washington).

2. Couch Cuddles. A young woman spends her nights and weeknights curled up with her two cats binge-watching old episodes of Criminal Minds and Bones (she's on an inexplicable kick) when suddenly, through a glitch in her Netflix or Primetime on Demand accounts, she magically meets the man of her dreams. I don't know how or why it happens--that's the author's job. All I know is he's totally into watching Galavant, Downton Abbey, and Total Divas with her every Sunday night to give the Roku a break. Also, he always brings fresh tuna treats for the kittens and makes exceptionally good mug cakes for their mama.

I'll let you place a Skype call to my own kittens if you need inspiration.

3. Subscribed to Love. A former YouTube star finds love and happiness somehow. This is a spin on the classic former child star finds love premise, but more modern. I figure YouTube has been around since I was in college, which makes this totally plausible in 2015. (If possible, the YouTube star should be someone who did hair and makeup tutorials, because I'm still trying to learn how dutch braid my hair like Katniss Everdeen.)

4. The Linebacker Highlander. A Clay Matthews-like professional linebacker (Go Pack Go) is magically transported back to the Scottish Highlands in the year 1206. (Again, I'm not sure how, because I'd like to be a little surprised when I read this book.) One of the most powerful lairds in all the Highlands mistakes his football uniform as the plaid of a rival clan and declares war. Our football player's life is in danger until the laird's only daughter, a beautiful and spirited young woman, throws herself in front of him and begs for mercy. Naturally they're forced into marriage, he tosses her over his shoulder and carries her to bed a time or ten, and they begrudgingly fall in love only to have time and some other major obstacle stand in the way of their happiness. Let's see if Clay Matthews would be available to do the cover photo shoot. Something like this, please:


Only his plaid needs to be green and gold. I insist.

5. Beautiful Burritos. I don't care if it's a book about a cute, but quirky young woman who owns a small burrito shop that's being run out of town by a man who owns a franchise burrito shop or it's just about a couple who eats a lot of burritos, let's make this happen. Oh, and as a special twist, this book is served with a burrito. (Maybe I just want someone to pick me up some dinner, tonight. I'm still feeling pretty drained from my cold recovery.)

If you have read or seen a book fitting any of these descriptions, please notify me immediately (no substitutions, please). If you haven't, well, go ahead and leave a comment sharing what kind of story you'd most like to read this weekend. Feel free to be specific like me or vague. This is a safe place.

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