(How many more times can I possibly and realistically use the word "swoon" in this post? If you have a bottle of vodka/beer/wine handy, there's no time like the present to turn this into a fun-filled--but responsible--drinking game.)
So in honor of the hot, hot summer days we're feeling here in Nebraska and the hunky, crushable men I've been reading and writing about lately, let's take a look at a few of my favorite, most swoon-able lines from my favorite swoon-inducing men of fiction these days.
And I suppose I should throw out a quick SPOILER ALERT if you aren't on the up and up with Austen or Bronte. But... you've had 150 to 200 years to read these books. If you read this and are shocked by any of these epic lines, well, I'm going to say this one's on you. ;)
1. "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more." - Mr. Knightley (Emma by Jane Austen)
Oh, Mr. Knightley. You've been slaying my poor heart since I was a 12 year-old viewing the previews on her parents' copy of Evita. (Yeah, I didn't fast-forward, because I loved the trailer to Emma, and I knew I would one day watch the movie and read the book to discover if Emma loved John, Frank, or Trouble.) And then I did finally watch the movie and read the book, and I loved it. And then I saw/read this one line, and I swooned. Oh how I swoooned. (That's two back-to-back drinks if you're playing along at home.)
2. "My bride is here," he said, again drawing me to him, "because my equal is here, and my likeness. Jane, will you marry me?" - Mr. Rochester (Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte)
After leaving this book on my shelf for about three years, I finally put a ring on it this month and committed to reading it. I'm still partially through (and finally getting to the good stuff where Jane and Mr. Rochester are all kinds of broody and tense and everything) and this line is definitely swoonable. I may be a little biased (because, Fassy), but I love this line even more in the 2011 screen adaptation.
3. “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” - Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen)
Yeah, I know Mr. Darcy was being more of a "d is for dick" rather than "d is for delish" sort of man at this part of the tale, but I'm too busy having palpitations to get too caught up with the particulars. I mean... I'm not particularly punishment equating pleasure, but it's kind of hot that Darcy is pained, because he's so into Elizabeth, right? And he's not some rando dude. This is like a legit, swoon-inducing man. Considering that Darcy is someone I had to read about for school, he sure has a knack for bringing out this pretty silly side of me.
4. "You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago." - Captain Wentworth (Persuasion by Jane Austen)
Thump. Each sentence, each part of a sentence, of this famed letter from Persuasion is spectacularly swoon-worthy on its own. Combined, it's enough to set my pulse racing at the highest speed. I'm too busy trying not to faint like the dainty little flower that I am to offer any more comment. Except for this: I clearly have a type this summer, you swoon-able men of BritLit days past. You're setting the bar awfully high for me.
Guys, I can't even. I've clearly had too much heat. I swear I'll be back later this week with something more insightful and less "fictional men are piece of meat for me to lust after while I drink beer/wine in front of the air conditioning to cool down" to share. And bless me Father, or whoever gets involved in these sort of situations, for I have clearly forfeited my "I'm a strong, independent woman" card for the day. I blame the damn heat.
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