In today’s new The Real Marrying Types of Change the Word, Francine Lasala shares how an imperfect dating past prepared her for her perfect match.
Laura asked me to write a wedding story, and I really wanted to write a wedding story, but when I sat down to write this post, I could not remember a single detail from my wedding day. Not a one. Reasons for this?
- It didn’t happen? No, I’m sure it happened. I’ve seen the pictures. I paid the bills!
- I am old? Maybe. Except that old people can usually remember in vivid detail things that happened a decade or two ago. It’s the “five minutes ago” that gets tricky.
- It wasn’t a good day? No, it was the best day. If I can’t remember a moment about it, the amazing feeling I carried away from it stays with me always. That day I became the luckiest girl in the world.
Pretty gross, huh? Yeah, I know. But hear me out.
I was never lucky at love. Willing? Yes! Eager? You bet! But lucky? Yeah, not so much. In hindsight, this turned out to be a good thing - for a few reasons.
For one, I have tons of material for writing characters who aren’t so lucky, or, let’s be honest, smart, at love, and lots of luscious anecdotes to weave into narratives that, of course have to be fiction! Because how could they possibly be true...? Don’t believe me that an ex once “proposed” we get married at Katz’s Deli like David and Amy in Rita Hayworth’s Shoes? Let’s just say these things happen - and things like this happened to me. All the time.
That’s okay. Having endured so much of this not-so-good love has helped me build more emotional depth into my writing. My characters’ emotions are authentic, as they have at one time or another been deeply felt by the person who tortures these characters with said emotions. Having experienced the “dark underbelly” of romantic love has also been helping me develop some pretty cool material a bit edgier than what you might usually expect from me. (It’s coming - wait and see!)
More importantly, though, without having put up with all of this nonsense from ill-suited suitors, I may not have recognized my husband for the prince that he was when I met him. Actually, at first I didn’t. He was not at all like the others. He treated me like he didn’t have an agenda for me, except to hang out with me. And because he was so different, I thought, “This is no boyfriend. This is a good friend!”
Well, I was both wrong and right about that. Within two years of our first date, we said our “I dos” - not at a dive deli meat counter but at the main altar of St. Patrick’s Cathedral. On Valentine’s Day. On a day that was fifty-five degrees in the dead of a frigid February.
Eleven and a half years later, I’m still happy just hanging out with my best friend. I know I couldn’t be luckier. And I don’t need pictures to remember that - he helps me remember every day.
Thank you for following along with The Real Marrying Types of Change the Word.
I hope you enjoyed this series as much as I did. Be sure to enter to win the prize.
FRANCINE LASALA is the author of novels Rita Hayworth’s Shoes and The Girl, The Gold Tooth & Everything. She has written nonfiction on every topic imaginable, from circus freaks to sex, and edited bestselling authors of all genres. She is now actively taking on clients for manuscript evaluations, editing services, copywriting (covers, blurbs, taglines, queries), and more. The publisher and co-editor of A Kind of Mad Courage, she has also contributed to short story collections, including Merry Chick Lit. The creator of The “Joy Jar” Project, and co-creator of BookBuzz, she lives with her husband and two daughters in New York.
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