August 7, 2015

playing i wish

I've been playing the "I wish" game a lot lately. And my wishes have spanned just about every topic.
I wish I lived somewhere with mountains. 
I wish I didn't live in an apartment with noisy neighbors. 
I wish it wasn't 100 degrees and humid. 
I wish my air-conditioning worked better.  
I wish I would have had more money to go on vacation. 
I wish my staycation wasn't over. 
I wish I worked from home. 
I wish I'd gone to RWA. 
I wish I was a best-selling novelist. 
I wish I had more reviews on Amazon. 
I wish I was a full-time writer. 
I wish I was better at meeting my goals.  
I wish this draft didn't need more editing. 
I wish my other project was coming together more smoothly. 
I wish I was thinner. 
I wish I didn't hate everything in my closet. 
I wish I was more disciplined. 
I wish I was more patient. 
I wish I was nicer. 
I wish Ever After was still on Netflix, because I'm too lazy to get up and put the DVD in the DVD player.
And so on.

Most of this wishful thinking comes from the amount of time I find myself spending on social media studying and envying the fabulous lives of the people I know. While the rational part of my brains knows and understands that we don't get the full picture of what a person's world looks like through the lens of social media, the jealous part of me is too busy wishing I was reading those posts from a five-star hotel in Seattle or London or anywhere fabulous.

The grass is always greener, you know?

Some of it also comes from myself, and I'm not sure what to do about that. I know I have plenty of good things in my life. I know I'm fortunate to have any home, and a job, and food, and family, and cats, and so on. And I am grateful for it, even if I don't always celebrate the good as often as I should. Maybe it's the burden of having an overactive imagination--one that has built up an amazing dreamworld for myself, one that makes my reality, which is really pretty good, seem less than stellar.

I should do less wishing and more praising.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm trying to say here, or what point I want to make. Maybe I just miss my staycation, and I should get over it. There's another part of me that doesn't want to let it go. That's the part of me who looks to those wishes--some of which may or may not come true--as a way to motivate myself to keep going. Isn't that what life is all about? Trying to make things better, pursuing happiness?

Do I have any fellow wishers in the house right now? What's on your mind?

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1 comment:

  1. Do you have all day to listen to my list? I'm generally content with my life, because--like you--I have sooooo many blessings, so to take them for granted and wish for more feels greedy and wrong, but we're human. And part of what makes us gloriously human is striving for better and more. Here are a few of my wishes that are top of mind today: I wish I hadn't waited until the last minute (like I always do) to do the kids' back-to-school shopping; I wish I didn't have to check the bank account balance before doing said shopping; I wish I could stay home and write full-time (and be a SAHM... I suppose... hahaha); I wish I liked healthy food as much as I love not-so-healthy (a.k.a., junk) food; I wish I had as cool a blog background as you do; and I wish I were in NE this weekend, hanging with you and having a great time. (Red beers are in our near future, I hope?) Keep wishing, keep striving, keep hoping.